Question: How has Dorothea’s desires and expectations changed since her marriage with Mr Casaubon?

Close passage:

Everything seemed dreary: the portents before the birth of Cyrus—Jewish antiquities—oh dear!—devout epigrams—the sacred chime of favorite hymns—all alike were as flat as tunes beaten on wood: even the spring flowers and the grass had a dull shiver in them under the afternoon clouds that hid the sun fitfully; even the sustaining thoughts which had become habits seemed to have in them the weariness of long future days in which she would still live with them for her sole companions. It was another or rather a fuller sort of companionship that poor Dorothea was hungering for, and the hunger had grown from the perpetual effort demanded by her married life. She was always trying to be what her husband wished, and never able to repose on his delight in what she was. The thing that she liked, that she spontaneously cared to have, seemed to be always excluded from her life; for if it was only granted and not shared by her husband it might as well have been denied. About Will Ladislaw there had been a difference between them from the first, and it had ended, since Mr. Casaubon had so severely repulsed Dorothea’s strong feeling about his claims on the family property, by her being convinced that she was in the right and her husband in the wrong, but that she was helpless. This afternoon the helplessness was more wretchedly benumbing than ever: she longed for objects who could be dear to her, and to whom she could be dear. She longed for work which would be directly beneficent like the sunshine and the rain, and now it appeared that she was to live more and more in a virtual tomb, where there was the apparatus of a ghastly labor producing what would never see the light. (Chapter XLVIII, Book 5)

The narrator uses imagery of the nature to show us the difference in Dorothea’s life now. By describing her as “the sun” hidden under the “afternoon clouds”, we can already imagine that Dorothea is being overshadowed by Mr Casaubon in the marriage. This could be referring to their intellectual status and age, both facts Mr Casaubon uses to exert his dominance over Dorothea. The intellectual superiority of Mr Casaubon is assumed by Dorothea herself since the beginning of their marriage, whereas the age superiority is further accentuated by everyone else in Middlemarch who has commented on their marriage. The power that Dorothea allows Mr Casaubon to exert over her could come from the “age of discipline” as Miller mentions in his article. Middlemarch is a small community, and one small slip-up could spread like wildfire. Because of the tight-knit setting of the novel, Dorothea feels compelled to conform to the societal expectations of how a wife should be, and allows Mr Casaubon to always have the last word, even if she does not necessarily agree now.

While once upon a time, Dorothea was happy in helping Mr Casaubon read and to learn from him, now she “long(s) for work would be directly beneficent like the sunshine and the rain”. Dorothea does not feel she is of use to Mr Casaubon the way she thought she would be, as Mr Casaubon always only keeps her to do very limited things. Yet, she used to carry those actions out anyway as “she was always trying to be what her husband wished”. Dorothea starts defining herself by what Mr Casaubon wanted her to be, rather than fulfilling her own wishes. Her wanting to satisfy Mr Casaubon’s wants could come from the societal expectations of how a wife should be. Even in the close passage, the narrator speaks of Dorothea’s inner struggles as a wife. Dorothea woes that if there is something that she likes, the passion was not “shared by her husband”, which very well means it is denied. Dorothea feels that her role as Mr Casaubon’s caretaker is dominant in her life now, and her first priority should be keeping him happy, rather than doing what she likes.

This question is particularly interesting to look upon as Dorothea now claims that anything she “spontaneously cared to have, seemed to be always excluded from her life”. However, in Book 1, wanting to get married to Mr Casaubon is exactly what she wants. It is quite likely that Dorothea mistook her love for academics as romantic entanglement. She has always preferred a pursuit of intellectualism, and when she first meets Mr Casaubon, she sees in him a mentor who could guide her through the different knowledge, whereas she gets to take care of him due to his declining health. But the longer she spends in her marriage, she realises what is between her and Mr Casaubon is not romantic, and now "she longed for objects who could be dear to her, and to whom she could be dear". As unhappy as she feels in this marriage, she still stays and helps Mr Casaubon, because that is what is expected of her.

In short, when we first meet Dorothea, she is infatuated with the idea of academic pursuit, and in turn, infatuated with Mr Casaubon as he is the person who can bring her along the journey. However, the more time she spends being his wife, the more she realises she is unhappy in this relationship. But, she cannot let go of the marriage as society does not expect a wife to abandon her husband, especially not with deteriorating health conditions like Mr Casaubon. The Middlemarch society acts as Dorothea's discipline and self-restraint. Therefore, we see Dorothea wallowing in her self-pity while denying herself the things she desires, as she does not want the society to blame her or her loved ones just because she was not a good enough wife.