Wilde's internal conflict with potential faith comes to a climax. He visits Reverend Sebastien Bowden at the Brompton Oratory in London, who was "known for his conversions among the well-to-do" (Ellmann, 93). In a letter Bowden writes to Wilde afterwards, the purpose of their confidential meetings becomes clear. Wilde seems to have told all his woes to the reverend and the revealed his incredible sadness with the state of his life. The reverend of course suggests a conversion to the Catholic faith, but promises not to force the issue, except that Wilde should come visit him again to once again talk. Instead of showing up on the scheduled day, Wilde sent to the reverend a box of lilies as a renunciation of the Catholic way of life. Until his deathbed twenty-two years later, this was the closest Oscar Wilde ever came to official conversion to faith.

Ellmann, Richard. Oscar Wilde. Alfred A. Knopf Inc., 1988. pgs. 93-94