COVE

"To Dorothy,

Merry Christmas... It’s been almost half a year since we spoke last and my heart ached at the idea of not wishing you a Merry Christmas.. despite everything. I want to give you your space, but seeing this book made me think only of your lovely face. The cover so reminds me of our.. I mean… your home and the days we spent together gazing out the window. I had not seen a more exquisite cover, or window… or person… 

I had spotted it at the discount bookstore, you know the one, on 5th? That we always used to walk by. We always talked about going in, but we never did… I couldn’t stop thinking about you when I went alone. All I could imagine was what you would say, or what you would find interesting, or where you would stop and gaze and flip through. When I flipped through the Rubáiyát, I saw the line, “You know how little while we have to stay, And, once departed, may return no more,” and my heart grew weary. I know it is true that our time in most people's lives is limited, but I do not want to have to depart and return no more from your heart…

I truly hope this gift conveys the depths of my feelings for you, which are so vast and endless that I struggle to even find the words. The lavish illustrations mirror my desires for you, and I hope they are able to speak louder than my words. I am only able to hope that when you read this, and then the book, that you are able to even begin to comprehend the depth of love I have for you. 

“Ah Love! Could thou and I with Fate

conspire

To grasp this sorry Scheme of Things entire,

    Would not we shatter it to bits–and then

Re-mould it nearer to the Heart’s Desire!”

I would do anything if I could go back and change what happened between us, if I could.. “remold” my actions… I know nothing I can do can make up for it; nothing I can say can unshatter the bits of your heart, but I couldn’t live with you not knowing how I truly felt. I know how you feel about throwing books away, so I have inscribed this to you, from me, so that our names are still forever in one place even if we never exist in the same space again…

You know I am forever yours, if you so wish to come find me, 

I will remain ever so patiently waiting for you,

Barabara"